This morning my host here in Holland was missing some client files from his hard drive.
He looked and looked for about 2 hours on all of his devices until eventually, he gave up.
As he gave up I could feel the resistance and tension of the room go down.
This made space for a deeper inquiry.
“How much do you want them back?” I asked
“Actually, not that much to be honest” he replied
On a scale of 1–10?
“A 5” he said
Okay, so then he’s at a 5 of resistance — this is what he was really telling me.
So, we would need a level 5 miracle for this.
I recently reflected in a facebook post about creating miracles:
“Miracles are easy and normal when they are commanded from true love, because it carries the potency of the greater collective truth.”
Yes, a 5 feels do-able right now.
I chose to move forward without delay.
“So why do you want it back?” I asked
“I feel bad for them. It would be inconvenient to recreate”
“I’m afraid they’ll be upset with me. They’ll reject me”
“Great, so let’s get that over with right now. I’ll reject you.”
He stops what he’s doing and looks at me. I stand up and glare at him.
“How dare you misplace our efforts, you lazy prick! What’s wrong with you? How can you be so stupid? Why didn’t you tell us you’re untrustworthy?”
“You’re right, I am untrustworthy!” he spit out
“Well obviously!” I said. “A little late to share the news now, isn’?”
“But this is the first time this has happened in my whole career!” He said
Hmm, I stopped. “But you just told me you are untrustworthy. Now, you say this is the first time this has ever happened. So which is it?”
“I always try so hard!” He said. “I’m so afraid of messing up!”
“Well”, I replied. “Sounds like you’ve been trustworthy the whole time and you’re convinced you aren’t.”
“I don’t know if I’m trustworthy or not. Maybe I am sometimes, and sometimes I’m not.”
“So, maybe it would be best if you didn’t show up empty-handed when you tell them the news. Maybe you could first commit to being trustworthy.
Consider bringing along your own self-forgiveness and you’ll be a blessing to everyone you meet. If you can find a way to show up to them in gratitude for the experience, that in itself is the energy exchange, your presence will be the gift — it will be a miracle for somebody who needs it.”
“You’re right, I’m really kicking myself for this. Yes, I can feel that. I didn’t even realize I was hurting myself until you told me I was doing that. Okay, yes I can definitely forgive myself.”
Silence…the energy settles deeper. Deeper….His eyes light up, his mouth drops open.
He walks over to a hard drive he had tucked away in the corner. He picks it up. Looks at me, shocked.
“You’re welcome” I laugh. I could feel it was still with us somewhere.
He plugs it in and finds the files, bewildered and happy.
How happy on a scale of 1–10?
“Can you see the pattern now? Self-forgiveness brings us to everything we need. Imagine we do this work on areas of our life which feel impossible to change. Do you see the pattern between miracles and self-forgiveness?”
“Well, yes but…I don’t know it seems almost a little bit lucky….”
The persistent skepticism always surprises me and I laugh.
“How much more scientifically could we have done this? We went from a -5 to a positive 6. That shift would have occurred either way, and that much of a reality shift can ONLY result in a miracle. It will always, always appear to be a miracle no matter what happens. We don’t know exactly what will happen but it’ll be something amazing.”
Then I have my own contraction, listening to the incredible potency of my own words and feeling just mind-blown at how easy it really is.
“Why did this happen?” He asked
“Because you were trained that you are a ‘bad’ boy, and so your self-punishment blinds you to the truth of your power. You believe you aren’t trustworthy and so you manufacture a reality which matches that.”
“Wow that’s true”, he says in amazement
Then, the next part really shocked me.
He picks up his phone and leaves a message for the client in Dutch.
“I told him we lost the footage, I didn’t tell him the next part yet. We’ll see what he says before I tell him what happened. Okay just watching….yes he listened to the message now. Okay yes. He says he has no words right now. Hmm, this isn’t good. I better call him. No answer, hmm okay. Hmm.”
“Alright, so how do you feel now?” I asked. “You felt you needed to be the bad boy anyway, even when nothing negative happened you created the drama because that’s what would have happened anyway. And now he’s lost trust in you anyway, which is what you believed was supposed to happen.”
“I better send him a message.”
The client responds “Wow thank you, I was about to have a heart attack.”
I finish off by saying “We can see that there’s a deeper level of self-forgiveness work to dive into, but at least you can see how directly it affects our day to day reality even if it’s invisible.”
I had to immediately write this story down in order to anchor this experience. And so it is.
P.S. An upcoming workshop on this topic will happen in Amsterdam August 11th 2019: https://www.facebook.com/events/702417296858663/